Poetic Review: Sorority Row

I've been away for a week and my trip was the best
I'd spent some time in Toronto at their awesome film fest.
But I came home and saw that I'd missed a horror flick
And we can't have that. It makes me sick.

So I wandered to the car and I drove down the street
Because I'd heard Sorority Row was actually neat.
I won't say who said this movie was cool
But his last name is Hall and now I think he's a fool.

It's a remake of a horror flick that nobody remembers
That got a listless release in the end of September
About a throng of vapid club members
Who sneer and bitch and then get dismembered.

The film is shot like an MTV ad
And when the harpies get slaughtered you won't feel bad
The editing and writing are particularly sad
But the end credits crawl will make you feel glad

I don't know what could make this movie seem dumber
Oh and it's also a remake of What You Did Last Summer
It runs 100 minutes which is a serious bummer
I'd rather watch a carpenter have sex with a plumber.

I'm really not sure who this film is for.
(The kills are tame but the girls are whores.)
But the flick did open in just sixth place.
Which means the sequel will be DTV and take place in outer space.