Who the Hell is 'Girl Number 9'? James Moran Knows...

Scott: So you've written for film, television, and on that awesome 2004 Krazy Kitty Kat monthly calendar. Why an online seral? Why now? Why?

James: We wanted to do something ourselves, that would reach people quickly and easily. Doing it for the web means no execs, no delay, no watering down.

Scott: No money.

James: Exactly. It also meant we could take advantage of the format to make it a cliffhanger style serial. We self financed, but will recoup our costs with advertising, and then if it does well, hopefully we can sell a version of it in some form. DVD, high quality online downloads, etc. Fortunately we got a really cool, cinematic look to the film...

Scott: Is it something that you could try to turn into a feature, or is it currently the format it needs to be?

James: It's custom designed for the format - it's not a tv show or film squashed down and chopped up. We decided the format first, and then worked out the storyline around that. Again, if it does well, then there's the chance of a follow up, or a different format. But this one is exactly what it needs to be.

Scott: Is Danny Dyer in it?

James: No, not this one. OR IS HE??? No, he's not. We broke all the rules, we're mavericks, loose cannons, but we get the job done.

Scott: Who was your key team? I know you haven't directed before, so clearly someone with talent was nearby.

James: Several people with several talents. My colleague Dan Turner directed episodes 1 to 3, I directed 4 to 6. We had a producer and a full crew. It stars Gareth David-Lloyd from Torchwood, Tracy-Ann Oberman from Doctor Who and Eastenders, and Joe Absolom from Eastenders and Doc Martin - and our producers are Martin Baker and Pete Coogan, who produced Labyrinth and several Muppet movies! From the producers of Labyrinth and The Dark Crystal! Comes a completely different project! And we shot at Elstree Studios, who were brilliant.

Scott: And is it true that your wife is an opera singer who sometimes contributes to this very website?

James: That is a true fact.

Scott: Has she seen the 6 episodes yet?

James: She's read the script, seen a locked version of 1, and rough versions of 2 and 3.

Scott: Plus she cooks.

James: If you mean, she takes raw ingredients, mixes them together, and applies heat using an oven, then yes, that is also true.

Scott: I will give you 54 words to sell your "online horror serial" to our loyal readers. Go!

James: It's dark, scary, exciting, packed with twists and turns, keeps pulling the rug from under you, and is full of surprises and shocks. If you don't watch it, I'll come to your house and do terrible things to you. But it's not a full-bore horror film, by the way, don't want to mislead people. It's a dark thriller.

Scott: Wait, wait, you just opened a can of worms. "Thriller" is what Hollywood studios use when they're ashamed of the word "horror..."

James: No! I despise people who say "it's not really a horror, it's X" whereby "X" means "better than horror cause horror is rubbish." I am proud and delighted to be involved in horror and to write horror movies.

Scott: Severance is a horror film? Hmph, interesting perspective...

James: But I don't want to tell people it's one thing, and then have them come away thinking "hey, that was a dark thriller!"

Scott: You think that's likely to happen?

James: I just don't want to promise horror and not deliver. It has horrific elements to it, sure.

Scott: Horror Squad Exclusive: James Moran Pisses on Horror!

James: Never! It's scary and shocking and controversial. But I couldn't say it's a horror, I think that would be promising something.

Scott: Well, it's not out yet, so let's say "potentially" controversial, eh?

James: Yes, indeed. To claim controversy at this point would be a lie, and therefore controversial.

Scott: So on October 30th, where can people see Girl Number 9?

James: www.canyousaveher.com There and nowhere else. It's available to all, no region locking or any of that nonsense.

Scott: Even small children?

James: There'll be a warning saying that it's for adult audiences. Children should not watch it.

Scott: What about if Jones wants to watch it? He's an adult cat, but he has no thumbs.

James: Jones can watch it as long as you explain to him that it's only acting in a pretend story.

Scott: Meh, not worth the hassle. When will subsequent episodes appear?

James: First episode is on October 30. The second episode on Monday November 2, and then it continues each night until Friday 6th. When it reaches its shattering, thrilling conclusion.

Scott: And you swear it's pure, hardcore horror.

James: Absolutely, it couldn't be more of a horror film. Horror fans won't be disappointed, let's say that.

Scott: Think you'll do more films this way?

James: I'd like to, it was a really fun, creative way to work - and more importantly, very quick to set up and get going.

Scott: What's the best place in London to get some good Chinese food?

James: Chinatown.

Scott: Noted.

James: But we'll only be able to make more of these if as many people watch it as possible. If you want to see more like this, then pass the message on, tell all your friends to watch and tell their friends - we're not a big corporation, we're self funded and doing something cool that hopefully people will enjoy.

Scott: Oh, I like it! Guilt as an advertising technique!

James: Also, we all need medicine, or something.

Scott: "Watch these short films. If you made an online dark thriller serial, James would watch yours."

James: I totally would.

Scott: Is it true that Robert Pattison is in the film?

James: Would more people watch if he's in it?

Scott: No, but putting his name in this article will with help the search engines.

James: Robert Pattinson, you mean? From Twilight? Twilight-starring Robert Pattinson? No, he's not in it. Robert Pattinson, I mean. From Twilight.

Scott: And The Twilight Saga: New Moon.

James: Yes. Yes, The Twilight Saga: New Moon also stars Robert Pattinson. Who is not appearing in Girl Number 9.

Scott: How about Nude Megan Fox? She in it?

James: Nude Megan Fox is also not in it. Nude Megan Fox is busy being nude somewhere else.

Scott: Aren't you worried that viewers will avoid Girl Number 9 because they have seen the first eight movies?

James: You can enjoy Girl Number 9 without having seen the previous eight movies, it's a completely fresh, new storyline that doesn't take them into account.

Scott: In closing, please let our readers know why Girl Number 9 is the best thing to hit the internet since banner ads.

James: Whether you like horror, thrillers, sci fi, action, romantic comedies, musicals, men, women, nudes, Twilight, Robert Pattinson, Nude Megan Fox, or anything else in the world at all, you will love this. Kidding aside, it's one of the first online dramas of its kind. And leading up to the premiere, we've got an online, interactive Twitter narrative, with four of the main characters tweeting.

Scott: That sounds LAME. I mean cool.

James: You don't have to follow the Twitter accounts to understand the show, but it's full of hints, clues and red herrings!

Scott: Any last words?

James: Please don't mention that I've paid for this article in cash, candy bars, and man-favours!

Scott: I have to disclose all that stuff now.

James: Fair enough.

[Girl Number 9 premieres right here on October 30. Follow all the twitterings right here. Dig Facebook? Then there's this.]

James: Don't forget the trailer!

[Here's the trailer.]