Game Review: Ju-On: The Grudge (Wii)

When I first saw a trailer for Ju-On: The Grudge, a video game adaptation of the popular Japanese film featuring a pale woman with waist-length, jet-black hair and a little boy who sounds like a cat in pain every time he opens his mouth, I had one reaction: I can't play this game. I'm not afraid to admit that. The Ju-On films may not be great, but there's little denying that their freaky parts are, well, freaky. As a self-titled Haunted House Simulator, the game looked to cut out all the extraneous bits like plot and characters and simply give you the thrill of walking around empty buildings using the Wiimote as a flashlight while you bumped into the aforementioned ghosties.

That experience, for better or worse, is exactly what the game delivers. And let me tell you, you are not ready for this. Ju-On: The Grudge is one of the most maddening video games I've ever played; and that's not because it's scary. Though most people would likely deem a game that does everything in its power to not make you want to play it a failed game, I'm not of that camp. I'm the kind of guy who can get enjoyment out of Syfy channel movies. That means I'm also the kind of guy who can have a riot playing a video game that makes me want to forsake the medium entirely. So if you have a group of like minded friends who are all of legal drinking age, then go grab a copy of Ju-On: The Grudge and brace yourself for the torture.

But before it sounds like I'm turning Ju-On: The Grudge into a drinking game, hear me out. It's actually not a bad effort. Xseed knew exactly what kind of video game they wanted to make and they delivered precisely that. The graphics are better than average for the hardware-lite console, it's got a solid sound design that works wonders in a surround sound setup, and it is legitimately scary at times. However, having said all of that, any person playing this game by themselves for more than 7 minutes will go insane with boredom.

There's no plot to be found, only standalone chapters that follow the same basic formula: Oh, no, object X is in building Y, I've got to go get it! Even though the developers do a satisfactory job of switching up the X and Y variables, they're all interchangeable and in the end you're just wandering around dark rooms bumping into things while looking for keys to locked doors and batteries to keep your flashlight from going out (thus ending the game). No matter what the setting is, be it hospital, warehouse, or abandoned school, it's still filled with the same creaky flooring, dingy wallpaper, and stacked desks and chairs.

And when I describe movement in the game as wandering, I'm being generous. Progressing through the levels is the most excruciating aspect of the game and will, without question, be the greatest source of entertainment should you play this with friends. Someone will spot a battery glinting on the floor across the room and it will take approximately 9,000 hours to then actually navigate your way over to it. It's not that the controls are bad, just that the move speed would have you believe all flooring in Japan is made of superglue.


The "I can't believe how long this is taking" rage keeps building and building until you're finally able to make it through a door or around a corner, and that's when all the frustration pays off. An unblinking eye or a death-white hand is always ready to come lunging at you and, even if you're expecting it, these money shots are guaranteed to startle the room. Better still, another person can use a second Wiimote to trigger these scare events at will, which is bound to generate plenty of laughs when played with the right crowd.

Which is precisely the only way Ju-On: The Grudge should ever be played. It's not that the Haunted House Simulator is too scary on its own, it just has very little to offer a single player after one chapter. It can, however, give a group of horror geeks plenty of fun. As with watching Syfy movies, the group may not be sober by the end of it, but it'll be an experience, that's for sure.