Lindsay Lohan

By Monika Bartyzel

The Machete casting news is official. Buried in a longer article, Variety has listed the final cast list for the feature-length adaptation of Danny Trejo's man with the knives. Almost all the rumors are correct, with the exception of Jonah Hill. The roster: Trejo, of course, plus Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Steven Seagal, Lindsay Lohan, Cheech Marin, Don Johnson, and Jeff Fahey.

Strange? Yes. Surprising? Yes. Perfect? I don't know. Now don't get me wrong -- you could fill the film with tween celebs and I'd still head out to see it as long as Danny Trejo was the star. Yet while I usually love big casting twists, this one isn't invoking a reaction either way. It's not due to disinterest, as I've been dying for this to become a reality for a long time -- from rumors of a DVD spin-off, to big-screen potential, to love of Machete as a gun-toter, to silly fangirl hopes from a fake poster.

More at Cinematical!

By Monika Bartyzel

The time is almost upon us. At first it seemed like a wonderful and impossible rumor. Then it seemed like it could possibly happen. Now, Machete is about a week away from production, and the cast is getting finalized. MTV chatted with Robert Rodriguez at Comic-Con, and the director confirmed some cast, teased about others, and is remaining really tight-lipped until all deals are signed.

Danny Trejo is, of course, holding the machetes and Michelle Rodriguez is definitely on-board. As for De Niro? Hill? The director isn't saying, but he did admit that they've sent the script to lots of big names, one of whom could be Ms. Lindsay Lohan. Rodriguez refused to confirm or deny when he name came up, but did say: "Lindsay's cool. There's actually cool part in the movie for her if she takes it."

A naked nymph in the water perhaps? I mean, The Wackness had Mary-Kate Olson smooching Ben Kingsley, so this isn't that strange. And I can't see there being too many other ladies in the macho-fest. Furthermore, if anything could help Lohan, it's a beloved piece of campy cinema. In fact, this might just beat that old rumor that K-Fed was going to become a John Waters star.

And one last nibblet: Rodriguez says that what's planned for the pic "far surpasses" the trailer. Is that even possible?