ResidentEvil

When you see the words Resident Evil and motorcycle in the same sentence, the first thing that comes to mind is the ludicrous sequence from Resident Evil: Extinction that finds Milla Jovovich riding a motorcycle along the vertical face of a sky scrapper. Don't worry, that's not the motorcycle I'm trying to convince you to buy. I'm talking about a chopper that Capcom had custom made by Savage Cycles.

The two-wheeled death machine was unveiled in its final state at this year's CES (that's Consumer Electronics Show for the non-nerds out there reading about motorcycles adapted from video games) and comes equipped with everything you need to cut a vehicular swath through zombie hordes:

- First aid spray
- Red and Green herbs (mix them for extra potency!)
- Grenades
- Machete
- Bow gun ammo storage
- Shotgun
- Grenade Launcher
- Trophy Skulls
- Style

Everything needs more sharks in 3D. Especially packs of bloodthirsty tiger sharks and Screen Australia will be giving us just that in Russell Mulcahy's Bait 3D. This is the first 3D film to receive funding from Screen Australia, a government arts agency and their fourth feature.

Mulcahy finds himself in familiar monster territory after his 1984 flick, Razorback. He also directed the 2007 feature Resident Evil: Extinction. Bait 3D centers on group of people trapped in a flooded underground supermarket with an armed robber and a pack of hungry tiger sharks after a tsunami swallows the town. Happy holidays Bait, you're all gonna die down there. You can read what Peter Hall thinks about Bait here.

This nature-run-amok story in 3D will hopefully bring some great visuals. It will be nice to see Mulcahy back on the map with another signature Aussie horror flick. Razorback's depiction of the outback was almost expressionistic--providing lots of striking and stylized eye candy. Think early Michael Mann and neon dreams.

Yesterday brought unofficial reports that Sony Screen Gems was planning on delaying the release of Resident Evil: Afterlife from August 27th, 2010 to an undetermined date in 2011. However, RE:A star Milla Jovovich was quick to jump on Twitter to state that the delay was possible, but not official. Well, now it's official. The fourth film entry in the Resident Evil franchise now has a January 14th, 2011 debut lined up.

While a release date delay for a horror movie typically indicates a studio has a lemon on their hands, that might not be the case with the latest from Paul W.S. Anderson. Jovovich's tweet on the matter said that, were it to occur, the delay would be because post-production on the 3D rendering could not be completed by the required July deadline. So now that the delay has been confirmed, it is a safe assumption that dealing with the added dimension for the first time is what caused the slip.

Coincidentally enough, this new release plan puts RE:A up against The Cabin in the Woods, the horror movie co-written by Joss Whedon and directed by Cloverfield's Drew Goddard that also settled on the 01/14/11 date after its own delay in converting the film to 3D. By that time the number of screens in the US capable of displaying 3D movies will have drastically increased, but even still, don't be surprised if either film shifts forward or backward for some box office breathing room as the date gets closer.

In the mean time, Screen Gems has given the original August date to the Paul Bettany starring Priest, an adaptation of the holy-man-kills-vampires comic of the same name.

You might not know who actor Boris Kodjoe is, but that's not stopping the Starship Troopers 3: Maruader star (here's looking at you, Dix Hauser) from spilling all kinds of beans about Afterlife, the fourth entry in the Resident Evil franchise. First he Twittered about being cast in the film, and now he's pre-empted the film's PR department once again and unveiled even more production tidbits in an interview with Black Film.

For starters, he confirms that Paul W. S. Anderson will be returning as the director, his first time back in the command chair since the first Resident Evil. Secondly, he's mentioned that Ali Larter will be reprising her role from the third RE film as the undead-hating Claire. Third, "Prison Break" star Wentworth Miller will be joining the franchise. And if letting the cast out of the bag isn't good enough for you, Kodjoe goes on to give away a good chunk of the Resident Evil: Afterlife plot as well:

Bloody Disgusting is reporting that the producers of Resident Evil: Afterlife have glimpsed the dwindling future of their ongoing series and have decided to regress back to their infancy instead of embracing the inevitable demise of their franchise. Afterlife, the fourth entry in the series, was supposed to kick off a new trilogy of films chronicling the adventures of Alice (Milla Jovovich) as she raged against the faceless source of the zombiepocalypse, the Umbrella Corporation. However, B-D is claiming that producers have decided that increasing costs in keeping the principle talent on board will necessitate the fifth entry now be a reboot of the entire series.

One would think that late in the game Sony Screen Gems might as well just do a spin-off series, right? Introducing a new starlet in Afterlife and moving on from there should be easy enough, but apparently that idea is too terrifying to even entertain. Instead the tentatively titled Resident Evil Begins will return right back to where the series started, "While it's a long, long, long way off, the idea is to redo the story of a special military unit who fights a powerful, out-of-control supercomputer and hundreds of scientists who have mutated into flesh-eating creatures after a laboratory accident."

Funny enough, in my searches for a picture of the Uroboros, the traditional symbol of a dragon that swallows its own tail forever representing the eternal return, I learned that the big threat in the fifth Resident Evil game is called...wait for it... the Uroboros Virus. Except in the game, that concept is used to make more monsters, not more money.

The Resident Evil well springs eternal. With three movies already under its biosuit (not counting the animated film Degeneration) and more games than I can shake a controller at, I think it's safe to say that RE is the most prolific zombie franchise ever created. It's influence is felt far greater in the video game world than Hollywood, but that has yet to stop Screen Gems from pumping out the undead actioners.

Which brings us the fourth in the film series (the aforementioned Degeneration was a standalone project more in line with the games than the films), titled Resident Evil: Afterlife. Shock Till You Drop picked up on a production report outlining the film's future, which will begin an eight week shoot starting this September with an expected release date of September 17, 2010. Though there is no director attached to the film yet, it's been confirmed that the always appreciated Milla Jovovich will be reprising her role of the fanboy loved Alice, destroyer of all things sans pulse. Also returning will be fanboy bait Paul W.S. Anderson, though as of this moment his duties will be strictly confined to the word processor side of things.

For those ready to jump ship after reading Anderson's name, I say give the Internet whipping boy a break. Yes, AVP squandered decades of banked potential, but he did kick off the Resident Evil franchise with not just its strongest entry, but also the strongest film he's ever been involved with. I also think the man deserves some credit for the success of the first RE, which I'd wager is directly correlated to the resurgence of Hollywood's faith in zombies. That's gotta count for something, right?

Yeah, yeah, I write reviews for FEARnet, but if you think that's why I'd promote their "free movies," well, you're insane. ANYONE who wants to give out free horror flicks is due for a blog-plug from yours truly, and I'll soon be scouring the YouTubes, the Hulus, and the Crackles to see what else I can track down for all us money-strapped splat addicts.

So where was I? Oh yes, free movies on FEARnet this week include the dangerous dental double feature of The Dentist and The Dentist 2, both of which answer the question of where Corbin Bernsen went. After you rinse those out, check out Milla's zombie zapping skillz in Resident Evil AND Resident Evil: Apocalypse, or take a trip to the adorable Dance of the Dead, OR dive into the cult classic wonderfulness that is Night of the Creeps. Other options: Freaky Frontier(s), icky Infection, and crappy Christmas Evil. Note: These are the "free online" titles. The FEARnet options on your cable box may vary wildly and very bloodily.