Sorority Row

I've been away for a week and my trip was the best
I'd spent some time in Toronto at their awesome film fest.
But I came home and saw that I'd missed a horror flick
And we can't have that. It makes me sick.

So I wandered to the car and I drove down the street
Because I'd heard Sorority Row was actually neat.
I won't say who said this movie was cool
But his last name is Hall and now I think he's a fool.

It's a remake of a horror flick that nobody remembers
That got a listless release in the end of September
About a throng of vapid club members
Who sneer and bitch and then get dismembered.

The film is shot like an MTV ad
And when the harpies get slaughtered you won't feel bad
The editing and writing are particularly sad
But the end credits crawl will make you feel glad

I don't know what could make this movie seem dumber
Oh and it's also a remake of What You Did Last Summer
It runs 100 minutes which is a serious bummer
I'd rather watch a carpenter have sex with a plumber.

I'm really not sure who this film is for.
(The kills are tame but the girls are whores.)
But the flick did open in just sixth place.
Which means the sequel will be DTV and take place in outer space.

(By Jeffrey M. Anderson, originally posted on Cinematical)

Another in the seemingly endless line of horror remakes, Sorority Row has the distinction of being based on one of the most forgettable of the 1980s slasher ripoffs, The House on Sorority Row (1983), which even the preeminent drive-in movie critic Joe Bob Briggs called "average." That basically means the new film has the freedom to start from scratch, with no real fan club to upset. But the new film also owes a good deal to I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997), with the killer inexplicably waiting eight months for her/his revenge after the initial horrible deed.

What happens is this: some sorority sisters decide to play a prank on a cheating boyfriend (Matt O'Leary). One sister gives him some "roofies," which he slips to his ex-girlfriend Megan (Audrina Patridge). He proceeds to make out with the near-comatose girl until she throws up and passes out. The panicked boy and five sorority sisters, plus the playing-possum Megan, pile into a car and head for the hospital, but get lost and wind up at the old mine shaft instead.

Horror Squad has received four exclusive images from Sorority Row (due in theaters on September 11), about a group of sorority sisters who try to cover up the death-by-prank of their fellow sister, but then find themselves being tracked by a serial killer. In addition to the images (which you can click through in the gallery below), Moviefone landed a bunch of behind-the-scenes videos which help introduce you to each girl in the film ... before, ya know, you watch them get brutally murdered in whatever creative way the filmmakers saw fit. (I'd personally like to see a sorority girl impaled with the Greek letters of her particular sorority -- how cool would that be?)

And speaking of girls, the film stars Briana Evigan, Leah Pipes, Rumer Willis, Jamie Chung, Audrina Patridge and more. Check out the new images below and watch the videos after the jump. Sorority Row slices her way into theaters on September 11.

By William Goss

A little more waiting, a little less waiting. That's just how this game goes.

Bad news first: Overture's space-set sci-fi/horror Pandorum has been bumped back a fortnight to September 18th, now putting it opposite the horror comedy, Jennifer's Body, written by Diablo "Juno" Cody and starring Megan Fox. I haven't heard the best things through the grapevine about either film, but I suppose it's slightly less competition than Carriers and Gamer on the 4th.

Better news then? Summit slasher Sorority Row has brought itself up three weeks from October 2nd to September 11th, although it now contends with Kate Beckinsale thriller Whiteout (which probably won't draw as much, now that I think about it). I'm not sure who's going to fill that prime October 2nd spot, or maybe Scorsese's Shutter Island is going to score across more demographics than I had previously considered.

Seriously, though, from the last weekend of August with Halloween 2 and Final Destination 4 on through Halloween, it looks like there'll be no shortage of genre offerings around this fall (even with Lionsgate's Daybreakers moving back to January 2010 and Paramount's long-shelved Case 39 disappearing yet again).

My skepticism over whether or not this fall's remake of Sorority Row was going to end up more along the lines of the Prom Night remake were slightly mitigated by the recently earned R rating, so while I think the film still resembles OMG! I, Like, Still Totally Know What You Did Last Summer, I can at least keep my fingers crossed for some nifty kills (I'm a man of simple taste) in between all that Carrie Fisher hotness (like I said...).

Er, I meant all that Briana Evigan hotness, and Rumer Willis hotness, and Leah Pipes and Jamie Chung hotness. Yeah, that's the ticket. After all, they're the ones populating these new pictures from the film, wielding axes and what-not against the mysterious caped killer avenging a prank gone awry.

I haven't seen the 1983 original, The House on Sorority Row, but its reputation doesn't exactly precede it, so let's see what hot, hot blasphemy director Stewart Hendler might've made of it come October 2nd. Again, fingers crossed...