cinematical

(Old-school reprint from Cinematical. Happy Halloween!)


Wow, this is going to be hard for two reasons. On one hand I'll find it tough to rank my very favorite Stephen King movies because the ones I love ... I really love. On the other hand there's been a whole LOT of rotten King flicks churned out over the years -- and I actually like some of those, too! But as a lifelong King kook I think I'm able to separate the wheat from the chaff -- even if, yes it's true, I actually sort of enjoyed Tobe Hooper's The Mangler. (It's just so enjoyably stupid!) So with that I bring you my own personal picks for the best Stephen King adaptations yet (not counting TV shows, mini-series or short films).

Christine (1983) -- Yes, the book is better and sure, a few important things were monkeyed with on the way from page to screen, but there's so much I do like about John Carpenter's adaptation that it makes the speed bumps a lot easier to handle. From the filmmaker's creepy score to an excellent lead performance by Keith Gordon, the flick's just got an admirably bad-ass attitude. Stripped down to its essence, Christine is not much more than another "geek fights back" revenge-centric horror flick, but Carpenter makes the movie his own with a solid production design, a few excellent set pieces and a pace that moves at an appreciable clip. Plus that car is just so damn cool.

Pet Sematary (1989) -- Just about every hardcore horror geek I know holds Pet Sematary in pretty high regard, and just one visit with this bleak and unflinching piece of pulp horror will explain why. It's a remarkably grim and unapologetic tale of dead cats, cute kids and a patch of land that, well, it resurrects dead tissue is what it does. And if you've read even one "back from the dead" story, then you know they never end well. (Pet Sematary, both the book and the movie, packs one doozy of a dark denouement.) OK, so maybe Dale Midkiff and Denise Crosby aren't exactly the rock-solid thespians you'd want for a screenplay this devilishly mean-spirited, but the pair do what they can, plus they've got good ol' Fred Gwynne supplying background color by the bucketful. (And don't forget about poor sickly Zelda! Yuck.)

Carrie (1976) -- The very first (and arguably one of the very best) of the Stephen King movies, Carrie hit the screens courtesy of a young Brian De Palma, and the director pulled out a big bag of Hitchcockian tricks to bring the story to the silver screen. It's about a socially bankrupt young girl who tries to cobble together a normal social life ... much to the chagrin of some snotty she-bullies and a resoundingly devout lunatic of a mother. Some might say the flick takes a long while to get where it's going, but between the prom night finale and the graveside stinger, Carrie more than delivers its share of grisly goods. Sissy Spacek and Piper Laurie make it watchable all by themselves, but De Palma is the real star here. (OK, De Palma and a young, evil John Travolta.)

Ever head out on the town and see men with horns on their head? Usually, one would think those little things were the glued-on dealies, sold to those who like their devilish tendencies to be as blatant as possible. But in the minds of Stephen King's offspring, it's a little bit different. Variety reports that Joe Hill, son of the famous King, has had his upcoming novel Horns optioned by Mandalay Pictures.

The novel, which will hit shelves this February, is a love story zeroing in on a 26-year-old man whose wild night of booze ends in an unexpected way -- he blacks out and wakes up in the morning to find horns on this head -- not the paste variety, but honest-to-devil horns. "As the horns grow bigger by the day, the reason why seems to lie in the unsolved murder of his girlfriend." Since he's growing devil horns, I think it's safe to presume that there's some misdeed behind the horns.

This deal is part of a new strategy for Mandalay where they will grab properties, develop them, and then set out to score money or shop them to studios. Whether this will work for Hill's latest remains to be seen. Back in early 2007, Hill's Heart Shaped Box was set to become a feature film helmed by Neil Jordan, and has since faded into the ether. Here's hoping something happens. It would be nice to see how another King fares on the big screen.

By Monika Bartyzel

In May we got the creepiest Mother's Day news ever -- Darren Lynn Bousman was prepping a remake of Charles Kaufman's Mother's Day -- a film where a few boys rape and murder some girls to please their sadistic mother. It was just the sort of thing for the mom who already has enough flowers. But now the flick's got a more socially palatable plot, and our favorite evil caregiver. The Hollywood Reporter posts that Rebecca De Mornay has signed on to play Mom.

This incarnation zeroes in on a "wicked family" who decides to return to the house they grew up in and "terrorize the new owners and their guests." But it won't just be about the grown-up kids tapping into their murderous tendencies. De Mornay comes in as "Mother," who "will go to any length to protect her children." Bring on the De Mornay evil! If intent means anything for the final product, her involvement should be viciously sweet. Bousman says: "Every time you look at (Rebecca), she is on fire and to take her to this level, which is like her role in Hand That Rocks the Cradle times a thousand, is exciting. She is not some Freddy Krueger or Jason, so it was important for me to get a real actress."

De Mornay has had some horror fare since her classic stint as Mrs. Mott/Peyton Flanders, but nothing has rang as sweetly as Cradle. Would anyone have imagined that a Troma remake would possibly bring her back to that chill-worthy world? Production begins this month in Winnipeg with a cast that includes Jaime King, Shawn Ashmore, Briana Evigan, Alexa Vega, Matt O'Leary and Deborah Ann Woll. Are you ready for De Mornay's return to caretaker creeps?

By Monika Bartyzel

These days, vampires are almost as prevalent as the mirrors they never cast a reflection in. True Blood, Twilight, Lestat, Underworld, The Vampire Diaries, Cirque du Freak, Priest, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter... They're everywhere. However, while we might be inclined to knock any new film that tries to jump onto the pile, we can't really fault any horror indies. Vamps have always thrived in that realm; it's their home turf.

So you might remember that last year, I wrote about a little Canadian horror comedy called Suck and its interesting cast list -- Jessica Pare, Malcolm McDowell, Dave Foley, Iggy Pop, Moby, Alice Cooper, Carol Pope, and Henry Rollins. The film has since wrapped, is heading to TIFF next month (hat tip to MTV), and you can check out a trailer for the bloodletting after the jump. The brainchild of Rob Stefaniuk (of Phil the Alien fame), Suck focuses on a struggling band who finally finds success when the leader's (Stefaniuk) ex gf and bandmate Jennifer (Pare) becomes a vampire rife with "sexually charged charisma that drives the audiences wild."

McDowell co-stars as Eddie Van Helsing -- a one-eyed vamp hunter who's afraid of the dark, while Foley plays their manager, Pop plays a music producer, Cooper plays a bartender, and Rollins plays "Rock'n Roger" -- a radio dude with terrible hair. That alone has me sold. Heck, McDowell with a flashlight to "keep the dark away" is gold just on its own. But just to sweeten the pot some more, the film's full of songs like David Bowie's "Here Come's the Night" and The Rolling Stones' "Sympathy for the Devil." Ready to Suck?

By Monika Bartyzel

Forget the potential film about Mad Magazine man William M. Gaines. It looks like John Landis is heading back to the thrills and chills. Dread Central reports that the man behind Thriller and An American Werewolf in London is gearing up to direct Burke and Hare, and that zombie butt-kicker Simon Pegg will star.

Unlike many of the usual horror films, this true story takes murder into the money-making realm. Back in the 1820s, two men in Edinburgh, Scotland -- William Burke and William Hare -- had schemed up a new business venture. Cadavers were in high demand, so they got in the business of selling dead bodies to anatomist Dr. Robert Knox. At first, it was just a stolen body, but soon they began murdering to bring in the cash (£7 to £15). Tenants, prostitutes, friends, relatives, and even an old woman and deaf boy. But they grabbed one too many well-known victim, and were ultimately caught.

Based on the death and life masks found earlier this year, I'll guess that Pegg will play Hare, and that this classic story is going to get a comedic twist. Then again, anything is possible. Laughter, chills, seriousness, silliness -- who cares? Landis is finally getting back to horror!

By Monika Bartyzel

These days, Ellen Page seems to be taking the Nicole Kidman cinematic route -- signing up for a lot of interesting gigs, then backing out of them before they come to fruition. It's not exactly new news that Ellen Page has left the lesbian werewolf movie Jack and Diane -- Kim Voynar discovered her removal from the film's info last summer. But now it's official, with a new actress slipped in. As Arrow in the Head reports: Alison Pill has taken over the sexy saddle.

The film follows two teen girls who start snogging in New York City. But when Jack learns that Diane is leaving the country, she tries to cool things off. But Diane wants to keep things going -- while also having to keep it secret that these sexy shenanigans are turning her into a werewolf. There's no word on who will play who, but Pill will be one while Olivia Thirlby will play the other.

More at Cinematical!

By Monika Bartyzel

The Machete casting news is official. Buried in a longer article, Variety has listed the final cast list for the feature-length adaptation of Danny Trejo's man with the knives. Almost all the rumors are correct, with the exception of Jonah Hill. The roster: Trejo, of course, plus Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Steven Seagal, Lindsay Lohan, Cheech Marin, Don Johnson, and Jeff Fahey.

Strange? Yes. Surprising? Yes. Perfect? I don't know. Now don't get me wrong -- you could fill the film with tween celebs and I'd still head out to see it as long as Danny Trejo was the star. Yet while I usually love big casting twists, this one isn't invoking a reaction either way. It's not due to disinterest, as I've been dying for this to become a reality for a long time -- from rumors of a DVD spin-off, to big-screen potential, to love of Machete as a gun-toter, to silly fangirl hopes from a fake poster.

More at Cinematical!

By Monika Bartyzel

I sometimes wonder if the best way to enter Hollywood is with the littlest splash, whether that be with a terrible feature one can look back at with humor, or a moderately good film -- one that pleases without setting up terribly high expectations. Would Richard Kelly's path had been different if Donnie Darko wasn't his introduction to the cinematic world?

After being juggled back and forth like an angry pinball, and almost getting a breath of relief with a Halloween release date, Bloody Disgusting reports that The Box has been bumped again. It's not going back to the Thanksgiving release it once had, but rather November 6 -- up against A Christmas Carol, Precious, Men Who Stare at Goats, Pirate Radio, and The Fourth Kind. Will this date stick? Your guess is as good as mine. Once a film gets shot around, anything is possible.

Of course, this doesn't bode particularly well for the feature, which already has the cards stacked against it. Donnie Darko hit the scene and grabbed the love of many, but Domino, Southland Tales, and even the director's cut of Darko didn't grab the same admiration. Domino is a bird of a different feather, since it isn't Kelly's own story. The D.C. Darko lost a lot in translation -- all of the explanations taking the fun out of it.

By Monika Bartyzel

The time is almost upon us. At first it seemed like a wonderful and impossible rumor. Then it seemed like it could possibly happen. Now, Machete is about a week away from production, and the cast is getting finalized. MTV chatted with Robert Rodriguez at Comic-Con, and the director confirmed some cast, teased about others, and is remaining really tight-lipped until all deals are signed.

Danny Trejo is, of course, holding the machetes and Michelle Rodriguez is definitely on-board. As for De Niro? Hill? The director isn't saying, but he did admit that they've sent the script to lots of big names, one of whom could be Ms. Lindsay Lohan. Rodriguez refused to confirm or deny when he name came up, but did say: "Lindsay's cool. There's actually cool part in the movie for her if she takes it."

A naked nymph in the water perhaps? I mean, The Wackness had Mary-Kate Olson smooching Ben Kingsley, so this isn't that strange. And I can't see there being too many other ladies in the macho-fest. Furthermore, if anything could help Lohan, it's a beloved piece of campy cinema. In fact, this might just beat that old rumor that K-Fed was going to become a John Waters star.

And one last nibblet: Rodriguez says that what's planned for the pic "far surpasses" the trailer. Is that even possible?

Saturday was another busy day at Comic Con, and two of the movies a lot of folks were chatting up on Twitter and around the convention floor were Zombieland and 2012. Zombieland, of course, is that awesome-looking zombie comedy starring Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone, Abigail Breslin and Woody Harrelson. We already shared a report from the set with you (read that over at Horror Squad), but only at Con did Cinematical's Kevin Kelly have a chance to chat up the film's director, Ruben Fleischer, along with its star Jesse Eisenberg. Zombieland hits theaters on October 9. Watch both of those videos after the jump.

Meanwhile, Roland Emmerich (Independence Day, The Day After Tomorrow) is back to destroy the world with epic amounts of special effects in his new movie 2012. Starring John Cusack, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Danny Glover, Amanda Peet, and Thandie Newton, word is this flick will be the mother of all disaster movies -- and while Emmerich has made a name for himself destroying cities using a number of creative ways, this movie looks to take that up a notch and then some. 2012 hits theaters on November 13. Check out what Emmerich had to say to Kevin Kelly about 2012 (he calls this his "flood movie") and the end of the world after the jump.