fantasticfest2009

Yes, Fantastic Fest ended almost two weeks ago (has it been that long already?), but just because the fest is over doesn't mean the HorrorSquad coverage has to end.

Salvage, Directed by Lawrence Gough, 2009
A shipping container has shown up on the shore of a small, isolated village on the UK coastline. Said village is under quarantine, which is a bit of a problem for Beth, a single mother who spends too much time at work and not enough time with her estranged daughter who got dropped off at her doorstep right before the quarantine was underway. Making matters worse, when a commando unit shows up to enforce the quarantine, it becomes clear that its not a virus that has the UK government so freaked, rather it's some kind of cognizant, escaped mutant.

Lawrence Gough's film has a decent premise and a less-than-stock dynamic between its characters, but Salvage is ultimately a rather generic horror movie hurt most by a monster at its core that is really not all that monstrous thanks to flat design and uninspired camera work to showcase it. Great performance by lead actress Neve McIntosh, but her gutsiness isn't enough to save the film from the clutches of mediocrity.

Ten years from now, 95% of the human population has been transformed into vampires, with those few uninfected survivors evading capture as best they can and those already captured being farmed for every last drop of their blood. However, supplies are dwindling, substitutes aren't working, and vampires who are driven by starvation to feed on one another tend to mutate for the worse.

This is the world of Daybreakers, a more ambitious and straight-faced follow-up than anyone might've expected from the Spierig Brothers in the wake of their cheeky low-budget aliens-and-zombies debut, Undead; better yet, it's a smarter and more refreshing take on the vampire genre than most of late, and a solid action flick in its own right.

Time for some rumor control. Contrary to what one would assume watching The House of the Devil, writer-director Ti West does not have the power to bend time and space to his will. Ti West is not a time lord, he is a mere mortal like the rest of us, he just happens to have the ability to make a film that lives and breathes as if it fell out of a wormhole from 1983. Plenty of horror directors attempt the throwback film, but few pull it off and even fewer pull it off as convincingly as West has with The House of the Devil.

Samantha (Jocelin Donahue) is an impossibly cute college gal dying to escape her slovenly roommate. In order to afford the too-good-to-be-true rent on an apartment she's just discovered, Samantha has to, against her better judgment, answer a Babysitter Wanted flier pinned to the ad board on campus. The man on the phone (Tom Noonan) is a little creepy and a little too eager to find a babysitter on the night of a rare full lunar eclipse, but that's just something Samantha is going to have to put up with if she wants to move out. So the ill-fated coed asks her best friend to drive her out to the isolated house in the woods, where things eventually prove to be even worse than Samantha imagined.

What follows is a remarkably restrained, expertly-maintained atmosphere of tension and dread that is in no rush to evolve from its controlled burn to full-on Satanic panic. And if there's anything that House of the Devil has going against itself, it's the fact that very little happens for long stretches of the film. Granted, this is liable to only be a problem for those who like their horror movies fast, quick and drenched in red, but for those among us who can appreciate a 95-minute film that remains wholly fascinating without exploiting any of the aforementioned qualities, House of the Devil is a near-perfect film.

Set a film in Tasmania in 1822 with prisoners on the run as characters and, as far as my frame of reference for the story is concerned, you may as well be making a movie on a different planet. And yet with nearly 200 years and half a globe of separation between myself and this true story of cannibalism among escaped convicts, Van Diemen's Land still clawed its way under my skin. There's one particularly haunting moment that I found nearly unbearable to watch; what's amazing about that, however, is that Van Diemen's Land is not a gory horror show, and the particular moment in question arrives without a single drop of blood.

Despite the integral plot element of cannibalism, there's no abundance of body parts or organs floating about in Van Diemen's Land. In fact, the film is remarkably light on the red, and yet there are nerve-crushing moments in which all semblance of humanity goes out the window. That loss of moral compass in the face of survival is the cornerstone of this fact-based story about a prison break that went horribly wrong: Eight prisoners in a Tasmanian penal colony overthrow their sole guard only to learn that the coast isn't as clear as they thought, that their only true course of action is to either wait to be recaptured (and almost certainly executed) or flee aimlessly into the wilderness.

What ensues is the fastest case of survivalist cannibalism ever recorded. The script, written by Jonathan Auf Der Heide and Oscar Redding, is faithfully based on several confessions from the last man standing. This is not another Wendigo film about men who eat other men and gain their strengths. It's not a plane-crash story about unfortunate athletes who must devour each other or die. Van Diemen's Land is a gritty, manly, teeth-baring look at what happens when a group of people must eat one of their own to survive. Then tension comes from the basic animalistic imperative to survive at all costs ... not from the innate "grossness" of man eating man.

Yes, it's a ridiculously stupid word. But it's for a good cause: One of the coolest things about Fantastic Fest, aside from the craaazy movies and the awwwwesome cheese fries, is the communal vibe. Movie geeks of all ages, sizes, and voice-volumes can be found debating everything from Takashi Miike to Patrick Lussier ... after the movies, of course. And as my recent trip to the Toronto Film Festival taught me (woo, Midnight Madness!), the Twitter can be veeerrrryyy handy for A) finding out where your friends are, B) what movie might be slightly more up your (proverbial) alley than the next one, and C) figuring out where to get the best damn BBQ, DVD stores, or tacos.

So with that in mind we offer this directory of 2009 Fantastic Fest attendees. I know this may seem a little silly to those who've never even HEARD of Fantastic Fest, but hey, all the more reason to do a little research and save up for the 2010 edition. I was tempted to offer a little geo-biographical description for each of these folks, but that seems kinda dumb: The Twitter can do that for me.

Well, you've already seen what Weinberg and Hall were most looking forward to with regards to Fantastic Fest 2009: The Fantast-ening, and I fall somewhere in between, having already seen some damn good films and yet eagerly anticipated a great deal more -- and that's not to mention the Secret Screenings!

I'm putting my picks in alphabetical order, because numerical order would be like asking me to pick a favorite child that I haven't even met yet. Or something. Whatever. On with the list!

District 13: Ultimatum

What is it? -- A sequel to 2006's severely kick-ass District 13 (or B13 in the States), in which the eponymous ghetto is once again in danger... unless a certain cop (Cyril Raffaelli) and a certain vigilante (David Belle) team up once more to eliminate the threat.

Why am I excited? -- "Parkour!"

The good news for me is that I've already seen about a dozen of the Fantastic Fest 2009 titles. The bad news for me ... is precisely the same. So while it's cool that I saw [REC] 2 last week and Paranormal Activity last year, thereby freeing me up for other films, another part of me really wants to see those films again ... in a packed house full of movie loons ... with cheese fries in front of me. I'm still undecided on a few slots, but for the sake of this article, I'll simply omit the flicks I've already seen and focus on the ones I'm the most geeked for...

Zombieland -- Yes, I know it's a "studio" flick that's hitting theaters only a few days later, but I've been psyched to check this thing out since I first read the trade reports in Variety. I dig Woody Harrleson in just about everything, I adore zombie mayhem, that Emma Stone is achingly cute, and I'm always down for another horror-comedy experiment. Plus the new ads look pretty tight, and that R rating just makes me smile.

Trick 'r Treat -- Yep, another studio title, and one that's (many say unfairly) headed straight for the DVD shelves. Some of my West Coast horror pals saw the flick well over a year ago, and they were ... let's just say enthusiastic and leave it at that. We all hate "overhype." From what I've gathered it's a dark but playful anthology film that delves into some of Halloween's most recognizable and misunderstood traditions. That concept could be made in Pittsburgh for 300 grand and I'd still want to see it.

District B13: Ultimatum -- Yes, I know the first one is a bit uneven (the two best action sequences are in Act I), but I've lost count of how many times I've spun this movie on Netflix Watch Instantly. Just give me 80-some minutes of mega-kinetic parkour kung fu machine gun mayhem with that always-cool French attitude and I'm happy. Oh, and a hot girl. That'd be the icing.

Toy Story / Toy Story 2 -- I'm not a huge 3-D advocate, although I can see why people (particularly kid people) are having a good time with the gimmick. And I'm not entirely sure I'll be able to dedicate four hours to a pair of (wonderful) movies I've seen six times apiece ... but I'll probably peek my head in once or twice. (Someone save me a seat for Jessie's song in Part 2.)

Van Diemen's Land / Doghouse -- Just so you know I won't overlook the indies and the imports. One looks to be a gritty Tasmanian tale of 19th century man-eating, the other is from the lunatic who directed Evil Aliens. And that's enough to get me interested.

Fantastic Fest may be in its fifth year as one of the World's Coolest Film Festivals, but as far as I'm concerned this is year one. That's because this is my first crack at the geek mecca held annually in Austin, TX, and since the entire world revolves around me, I think we can all agree to reset the counter. No? Fine. At least indulge these picks for my Top 5 Most Anticipated Films at Fantastic Fest Five.

5. Rampage, Directed by Uwe Boll (Canada)
That's right, out of the 100+ films at Fantastic Fest, one of my top 5 is the latest from House of the Dead and Bloodrayne mastermind Uwe Boll. Never mind the fact that the notorious German is going to be present to do a Rampage Q&A (his appearances are, as legend tells, phenomenal, hilarious, maddening insights into his, uh, talents), I've actually heard very good things about the film.

Programming Description: "Fed up with his dead-end life, Bill constructs a full-body kevlar armor suit and rampages through the streets of his hometown killing everyone in sight, particularly the barista that failed to make him a proper macchiato."

Extent of Exposure: I've only read the description, seen the poster and heard a detail-less thumbs up.